Im 20 years old and although it may seem like I have had a good life and that I have never had any issues in my life...well thats very incorrect. I cant say I didnt have a good childhood, because I did I was always honor roll student in elementary school I LOVED school..until I slowly started gaining weight by my first year of Junior High I was overweight and thats when my life changed...I remember waiting in line waiting for my lunch when a group of kids came up to me being forced me into the bathroom stalls around the corner and started hurting me...they started to call me names like "pigzilla" "fatso" "Lard" any name you can basically think someone over weight can be called...Al throughout Junior High I was constantly bullied constantly beat up I was personally starting to change, because I was known as the happy kid I was always smiling Always in a positive mood I was a people person but I slowly started being pushed into the darkness I started distancing myself from my family I had definitely hit depression.. there wasn't a day where I wouldn't get bullied it was a constant battle I needed to run away I needed to escape this nightmare I wanted to Die I wanted to Kill myself. I honestly don't know how I made it out of junior high but I did and soon after I started my first year in high school.
High School was even worse.. I attended Greenway High School ..but something strange started happening to me..something I didn't understand I slowly began to get feelings for guys and not girls...I was confused and with no friends at all I had no where to turn I had completely lost communication with my family I felt alone. Throughout my freshman year I had small group of friends and I had started to trust them I confide in one of the girls and told her my secret that I might be gay...little that I know that she was going to go and tell everyone in our circle! Word spread quickly and that same day as I was walking home after school I was approached by some football players and I got the WROST beating in my life! I was forced to the ground, kicked, punched spit landing on me from all side all I could hear was "You fucking faggot!" "Queer!" I was left there alone..When I got home that afternoon I had officially decided to end my life. I knew where my parents kept a gun and i was going to kill myself that way, I felt like that was my only escape my only way to be...Happy. I had sent out text messages to everyone in my contact list Made sure everyone had fallen sleep at home once they did I was ready. I remember grabbing the gun and pointing it on my head, tears rolling down my face slowly pressing the trigger, when my door was knocked down by my dad and mom.
Everything from then became a blur there were tears from everyone cops at the front door blood on the floor from the cuts that I have made to myself. This is what my classmates had done to me these are the effects of bullying all across the world! I lived it and I suffered through it! I was sent to Rehab over the summer before my Junior year And i was there for about 2 months after I was released I felt a lot better about myself, I became a STRONG young man I started working out I started to accept my sexuality. I was finally happy. Now Im proud to say that I no longer care what negative things people say about me because their opinions DONT matter :) ive lost 100lbs and now I can look in the mirror and smile and be proud of my accomplishment. I learned that being Gay isnt wrong that's just me im no different than anyone else even though my parents dont know Im still happy becasuse my friends know, and some of my family members and I still feel free! there will be a time when I will be ready to come out to them (parents). But now im just living the life I have an amazing Boyfriend who I call my Angel, because hes been there with me through all my struggles I feel like the luckiest guy I have my amazing friends who i can fully trust on! If you've been bullied or are being bullied don't let them bring you down! We all have a purpose in this world and remember no matter what shape, size,orientation or color you are or what ethnicity you are beautiful! You're Not alone! <3 Thanks to Demi Lovato every now and then when im feeling down her music keeps reminding me to "keep Staying Strong"
xoxo
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